it is ruining the story line… Indianporn You need more segues between events.«1» it is ruining the story line… But yeah, don’t switch so much between scenes. Make the switches new chapters or something.Anonymous readerReport 2008-08-05 03:09:55no no no no… Just work on making the stories longer and making the transitions make more sense. this is just confusing.gayboyReport 2008-06-05 00:45:44its to confusing.i dont know who is whoREADERReport 2007-12-24 12:28:23I loved the first chapter. no more incest… Just work on making the stories longer and making the transitions make more sense. You need more segues between events.«1» Just work on making the stories longer and making the transitions make more sense. But yeah, don’t switch so much between scenes. the first chapter was good.. Make the switches new chapters or something.Anonymous readerReport 2008-08-05 03:09:55no no no no… 5 s«1»Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-14 20:58:48Nice twist with the sister being a he/she or he a guy raised as a girl. no more incest… no more incest… Make the switches new chapters or something.Anonymous readerReport 2008-08-05 03:09:55no no
