It was a still good read, but with a little care, you could easily have made it much better.«1» If so you suck.anonymous readerReport 2013-09-17 14:02:36You should proof-read your story prior to submitting it. Indian xxx If so you suck.anonymous readerReport 2013-09-17 14:02:36You should proof-read your story prior to submitting it. If so you suck.anonymous readerReport 2013-09-17 14:02:36You should proof-read your story prior to submitting it. It was a still good read, but with a little care, you could easily have made it much better.«1» Using “…” means that words have been omitted, However you use it all over the place, even to begin a new paragraph. just a thought!anonymous readerReport 2013-09-17 21:29:28tell us your dirty secret at americasdirtysecrets dot usanonymous readerReport 2013-09-17 17:05:05It started out a good story and a decent build up to their first sexual encounter and the you just “…” most of the sex and then quickly end the story, leaving all of us readers hanging with no payoff.
